Sea of Emotions

New work in progress....

The Doll's Aura, 2022. Work in progress. Watercolour, water soluable inks, gouache, prima coloured pencils, black permanent ink, graphite, pastels and charcoal. I brought out (almost the whole) art box!

I've been working on this piece for a couple of weeks now, building up layers, deepening tones, layering watercolour and ink and wash, adding detail then white-washing it (a hidden double entendre); it's an aura painting. It depicts the different human emotions I experienced during the past fortnight washing over her, like the ebb of a sea.

It's a reflection on the descriptive phrase "sea of emotions". I worked on this while conversing with friends, meditating, in the bath, listening to music, all the times I have felt happy, peaceful, loved and valued, uplifted, well and blissful.

I like how the shapes in her hair almost look like a Moulin Rouge dancer's feather headdress (of which I have made many in my previous life as costume maker - every girl wanted to be in Baz Lurman's film at the time!) The body is dark and burnt. Our wounds and expressing our pain does not make us victims. We are survivors. And we do not need to objectify ourselves to be seen. Love sees more. It is not our outer appearance that makes us beautiful; it is our souls. It is the authenticity of our beings, the colours and passions we bring to our lives, our darkness and our light - our wholeness - our courage and strength, our vulnerability, and often our humility (hence the doll is naked and nature - woodgrain reflecting the patterns of her aura).

She is whole.

Woman.

Standing in her power.

Woman reclaiming her standing as a transcendental being - sylphic and terrestrial (seventeen year old Ari gave me that word just now, when I asked him for a synonym of wooden or "of the earth"), omnipotent, sacred, flawed, tragic, balanced, magical, *as is*. As is.

This doll could be a tip shop find, destined for landfill, or someone's treasured companion. How she is perceived may depend on the eye of the beholder but even a burnt and battered old penny doll is a connected and significant part of the material and immaterial world.

Left in an attic she becomes a memory but in a child (or lover's) hand she is adored. In both situations she may be an object of affection, she exists and she may be loved. The difference is in one scenario she is unreal (hidden away) and in the other she is real (in front of our eyes).